Phew! What a day! Just had one of those miniature heart attacks where I thought I misplaced something and I did, but I found it. Phew! Now the rest of my day was quite lovely. I am super excited about my re-prioritizing. I feel like I have a whole new life in front of me. Saying that makes me want to panic and take the old one back just for a moment. No, I was too busy.
I had my new dinner group tonight. My, but I was nervous to go see all new dinner group people even if I knew half of them from previous places! Yikes. I did manage to open my mouth once or twice, but oddly enough only to make people laugh.
I wrote some today. I am disappointed that I am not getting much more written. I am excited because I think I am caught up on CR related stuff. I can now focus on a little bit of all of the rest of my life. I think I will be much more efficient with my writing time once I figure out how to have proper mental and emotional breaks during it. I think it will be breaking, stepping away from my computer, putting on some worship music and refocusing on God through music. It seems to be what is giving me the best break right now. Just stepping away to read the Bible or pray isn’t helping as much. Pray and praise seems to help.
On Sunday night, I came home and created a new sign to hang on my wall. It says, “I will never need credit on earth for what heaven can reward me.” Then in smaller letters “To know Him as I am fully known.” That is my prayer for 2015. That I could truly adopt that attitude. Because I don’t have that attitude. Occasionally, I want more than a little credit!
I am trying to trust God tonight, but I am nervous about a lot of things. All the writing, all the parts of my schedule that I have re-prioritized. I guess the old schedule had become familiar. I am nervous about the new one and the starving child on my door step! Nervous about change, and I feel like my whole life has significantly shifted in the last few days. Trust in the Lord. Trust in the Lord.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6
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